Failed Food Day

It’s 3 a.m. I’m tossing, kicking, eyes twitching, and cold sweat rolling –no it’s not from the Taiwan heat. I was having a horrific nightmare about the failure I consumed during the day. The perfect food bubble had burst, and I’m falling back to reality.

Every time I see people post food pictures from their travels, it all looks so finger-licking good. Good enough for me to print these pictures and eat the paper (don’t judge), but let’s be honest. I bet some of the food look better than it tastes. If there was an old proverb for this situation, then it would be this: “A picture can deceive the eyes, but never the tongue.”

Today was the first and, I know, not the last failed food day I will have during this trip, but that’s the risk I am willing to take so y’all can avoid these places too!

I dubbed today as “Dry and Flavorless Day”

Ijysheng Bakery

(Map) (Chain)

This picture looks good, huh? Well don’t be duped by the buttery green onions or the glossy egg custard because the breads were dry to the bones and had absolutely no flavor. This is a chain so try to avoid it. See my post Birthday Shots? No…Birthday Food! Taiwan Style for another bakery recommendation.

11/05/2014 Update: Maybe the bread was not tasty the first time I was here because it was super early and I bought the left over bread from the day before. Since then, I have returned and the flavors and texture are better, but still not excellent. I mostly come here now for the mochi.

Chain - Ijysheng: Average quality
Chain – Ijysheng

 

So Free: Wood Fired Pizza (Map) (2 locations) — more like So Free to suck at making it taste good. We ordered the 3 – Cups Mushrooms and Lava Lovers.  The 3 – Cups Mushrooms had button mushrooms and tarragon in it, but the herb over-powered everything. I don’t remember tasting the tomato sauce at all. Also, I had no idea why zucchini slices were needed, it didn’t enhance the pizza. Now if you like the raw, in-your-face spice of a chili pepper, then Lava Lovers is your dish. This pizza was packed with raw ginger and chili peppers. I couldn’t taste anything except for the fiery burn on my tongue and lips — ok, I know it’s in the name, but spicy shouldn’t be so one dimensional. Overall, the pizzas were subpar and, to be frank, tasted worse than frozen pizza because you know these were made fresh and from scratch.

Pizza may look simple, because it’s been dumbed-down to fast food quality… But, to me, it’s a complex dish with many layers of bursting flavors and textures. I guess I expected way too much for this fusion style dish.

So Free
So Free
Menu
Menu
3 - Cups Mushrooms
3 – Cups Mushrooms
Lava Lovers
Lava Lovers

 

Pho: no specific name – just a neon light sign. This place is not as terrible as the one above, but if you walk in expecting the true pho taste, well then my friend, you’ll be disappointed like me. I heard there was a good amount of Vietnamese people who reside in Taiwan; therefore, pho should be pho-king delicious here since its closer to Vietnam than America! Unfortunately, this is far from true — at least for this restaurant. I can go deep into how each dish was bare and had no inkling of Vietnamese flavors, excepts for its name, but that could be two paragraphs long. So let me be brief and say that this place missed the mark, and I left very unsatisfied.

Papaya: really no flavors
Papaya: really no flavors
Pork Pho: I've never had pork pho
Pork Pho: I’ve never had pork pho
Pork Vermicelli
Pork Vermicelli